To love or to let go

 You pointed it out,

So I have been driven to clarify.

The accusations that you drown me in 

About how I am different when I am in love,

Are sadly true.

When you are 

Somebody who exists 

Beyond the walls of my heart 

You exist as a whole, 

A complete you 

But to me, just a number

Maybe just a name 

I may love you 

Adore you to pieces 

Protect you with all my heart 

But I dont love you 

So you will not know me enough to love me back 

On those very few 

Rare instances 

Where the emotions of selfless concern 

Motiveless drives 

Pure love takes over 

I am, but as vulnerable 

As a fish in the shallow water .

You are,

But my captor 

And I lay unsure 

If you'll kill me there after 

Or if I shall adorn your home 

And you'll look at me 

Plain sight 

Mad delight .

You said 

'but you are so different,

So mellow, so low. '

Like you are forced to think that it is you 

Who has slowly and achingly sucked the life out of me 

But who am I kidding 

You must already know 

That after terrorizing the jungle and hunting in the dark 

Even the fiercest of the beasts 

Rest in the confines of their homes.

So what if I think 

You are my home 

Is it too much for a person to take 

The responsibility of a whole soul 

Or the honour of being 

Complete, for once.

We lay low 

In a dark corner 

A mad house of drunk 

A bar with liquor spills like it had freshly rained irish malt 

With all the many heads that turned 

As we made our way out of sight 

Do you see how my eyes stay,

Right on you? 

So it's not something I could help 

Or would you, if you could 

Maybe dress me a duller shade of grey 

With the faint expectation, if at all there exists one 

But when the world danced 

To some foreign tunes 

I turn my back, at them 

Assurance, if that is what you'd like to call it,

But I have my whole world infront of my eye 

The moment I face you.

So what if I am 

Not just as impulsive insane or generally unassuring anymore 

Is it not a relief 

For I have heard people who cage birds are always afraid of them flying away 

But those who tame the magnificent creatures

Live with their dragons adorning their sleeves.