I Miss What I Should, The Most.

Maa,
You do realize how lonely it feels here, do you?
How much I miss you, Maa?
I wont say it to your face, I know you miss me too.
And restating the obvious will just kill you a wee bit more when you go to sleep tonight.

It's a strange world out here.
I believed that everyone was born to parents like you, and everyone would have been taught to compromise for the comfort and happiness of others. You didn't tell me Maa, that the world is a shallow place.. one with hypocrites and liars...

There are many like me too, But I cannot connect. I lack the desire to accept more people in my life.

Being surrounded by people all the time, that suffocation..
And being lonely all the while.
The emptiness of the corridors of my hostel eat my soul like an cannibal preys on a dead man.

Falling asleep on this bed is a hard thing to do, Maa.
My phone doesn't ring night and day like it used to. I miss you, And your voice.
And sometimes that I hug Rashi, or her mother,
I can feel like it's you.
I'm somehow transported some 1000 miles to you, but it isnt a lasting experience.
Nobody hugs me for as long as you did, with the same intensity, with the same desire to never let go.
Maa,
I miss the sound of your existence. Every little thing that you did, every tiny action..


I leave the biggest decisions of my life to you Maa.
Because you know me the best.
I owe my everything to you, my heart, my soul.
I'll make you proud.