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So (so) Many Things

 So lost In this sea Of self loathing Hatred for everything That I’m made of till date So broken That even a man as complete as you Couldn’t pull together This mess I made From my own pieces So unapologetic That I know I broke Both our hearts into pieces But too proud To mend it this soon So sad That I can’t digest How happy you make me So teary eyed  That I refuse to believe How your eyes mirror My own emotions So flustered  That to hear your voice Say that it might be the last time Rings over and over again A melody of murder A tune so close to my heart, That my lungs run breathless In jealousy So preoccupied  By my own insecurities  That my eyes can’t see The love you pave my ways with So dull That like darkness I consume Whatever light You reflected into my rusted ways So demented  That your sweet nothings  Started to sound Like a mockery So heartless That your love felt like sympathy That you loved me because You’ve tried so much to fix me  And leaving it here would be a waste of

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